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The 'Managing Family and Friends' Playbook: A Guide to Dodging Unwanted Advice and Keeping Your Sanity...

  • Writer: Gage Allen
    Gage Allen
  • Feb 11
  • 3 min read


Congratulations on your engagement! You’ve got the ring, the love of your life, and a wedding to plan. Sounds dreamy, right? But then come the well-meaning but overenthusiastic family members and friends with their endless suggestions. If you’re already feeling overwhelmed, don’t worry—we’ve got you covered. Here’s a guide to help you navigate the stormy seas of unsolicited advice and keep your wedding planning on track.


1. Communication is Key (A.K.A. The Preemptive Strike)


Start by sitting down with your partner to discuss your shared vision for the wedding. Once you're aligned, communicate this clearly to your family and friends. Let them know early on what you envision and how they can support you without taking over. Honesty is your best friend here!


2. Set Boundaries (And Stick to Them Like Glue)


Decide what you’re willing to compromise on and what’s non-negotiable. Then, politely but firmly let your loved ones know where you stand. For example, if you don’t want your wedding to turn into a costume party with multiple outfit changes, make that clear from the start.


3. Pick Your Battles Wisely (Not Every Hill is Worth Dying On)


Some suggestions are harmless and easy to accommodate. Others? Not so much. Choose what’s worth a firm "no" and what you can let slide. Aunt Martha wants to bring her famous casserole? Sure. But Uncle Bob insists on a 30-minute set with his garage band? Maybe not.


4. Delegate Responsibilities (A.K.A. The Art of Deflection)


Involving family in specific tasks can be a great way to make them feel included without letting them take over. Assign roles that play to their strengths—like making DIY centerpieces or organizing transportation—to keep them busy and engaged.


5. Practice Empathy and Gratitude (Even When You’re Rolling Your Eyes Inside)


Remember, most advice comes from a place of love and excitement. Show appreciation for their input, even if you don’t use it. A simple, “Thank you for the suggestion, we’ll consider it,” can go a long way in maintaining harmony.


6. Create a Wedding Vision Board (Visuals to the Rescue!)


A vision board can be a lifesaver. It visually communicates your ideas, helping family members understand your aesthetic and preferences. Plus, it’s a fun activity to do with your partner while solidifying your wedding style.


7. Schedule Regular Family Check-Ins (But Keep Them Short and Sweet)


Regular updates help manage expectations and keep everyone in the loop—without overwhelming you. Schedule brief check-ins to share progress and make them feel involved, but keep in mind these meetings are for updates, not debates.


8. Establish a Conflict Resolution Strategy (The "In Case of Emergency" Plan)


Discuss with your partner how you’ll handle conflicts before they arise. Whether it’s taking a break to cool down or seeking a neutral third party’s input, having a plan in place can prevent minor issues from becoming major blowouts.


9. Emphasize Family Unity (It’s a Love Fest, After All)


Remind everyone that your wedding is about celebrating love and unity. Keeping this perspective can help diffuse tensions and refocus everyone on the joy of the occasion.


10. Seek Professional Help if Needed (When in Doubt, Call the Pros)


If the pressure becomes too much, consider hiring a wedding planner or even consulting a family therapist. Professionals can offer valuable guidance and help manage expectations, leaving you free to enjoy the journey to your big day.


Bonus Tips:


  • Be Honest and Respectful: Clear, respectful communication is key to maintaining positive relationships.

  • Include Loved Ones in Meaningful Ways: Small roles or gestures can make family feel valued without overwhelming you.

  • Remember to Have Fun: It’s your day. Amid all the planning, take time to enjoy the process and cherish the moments with your partner.


With these tips, you'll be better equipped to handle the influx of advice and keep your wedding planning enjoyable and true to your vision. Happy planning!





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